Want to hear a cosmic joke? I’ve realized that what brings me the most satisfaction is being uncomfortable.
And yet, for much of my life, I’ve tried to make things as comfortable as possible.
the obstacle is the way
Last month, during my annual review, a pattern emerged. My biggest moments of satisfaction didn’t come from easy or cozy experiences. Instead, they came from discomfort.
Discomfort, as it turns out, isn’t the enemy. It can be a gateway to purpose.
Here’s how I make that happen: when things get tough, I lean into my values.
These are my current values:
- Discipline – Showing up, even when it’s hard.
- Movement – Stepping away from screens and experiencing life in atoms, not bits.
- Kindness – To treat living beings with dignity and care. In particular, to embrace opportunities to serve.
- Courage – Facing what feels impossible with grit and heart.
here’s one I prepared earlier
Recently my apartment building had a bunch of hairy problems to sort through. I’m on the owner’s committee. It’s a volunteer position. And people often complain about how slow things happen.
I find it easy to slide into resentment. I sometimes perceive a lack of gratitude from the entitled demands of our voluntary labour.
After my annual reflection, I started rethinking these resentments. By bringing my values to these tricky situations, they felt more purposeful.
For example, I started bringing discipline from other areas to the stream of requests. The calendar invites became opportunities to for connection, kindness and service. Finally, having tough conversations became a training ground for courage.
reflection makes it easier
But here’s the thing: I wouldn’t know these values if I didn’t take time to reflect.
Reflection helps me connect the dots between discomfort and meaning. Without it, I’d be spinning my wheels, and mistaking busywork for real progress.
If you’re not sure where to start, try this:
- Think about the past week. What energized you? What drained your energy?
- Can you bring more energizing things into your life?
- Can you remove or reduce the draining things?
- Can you think differently about some of the draining things? For example:
- Connect them to a deeper “why” or reason.
- Remember the “necessity” behind the “necessary evil.”
If you’re struggling to remember what happened during your week, you might want to try these steps daily. With regular practice, a deeper understanding of your values will likely emerge. Instead of starting from scratch, it’ll feel more like connecting the dots.
If you want to see how I do it, check out my process here.
And I’ll see you in 2025 🙂 Happy holidays!
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