My neighbour asked if he could use my car space. Simple question, right?
At the time, it wasn’t.
Why? It was 2018, and I’d just started diving deep into studying decision making, and suddenly this straightforward request became an entire project. How long is he going to need it for? But what if one of my guests need it? Should I ask for something in return?
I found myself stuck in analysis paralysis over a car space.
And while this might seem like a classic overthinking episode, it’s more of a vehicle (pun intended) to turn insights into change.
This wasn’t an isolated incident. When I first tried to apply proper decision making processes to my life, I got completely overwhelmed. I was treating every decision – from whether to lease my car space to whether to change careers – with similar levels of scrutiny. I had this growing list of decisions to think through, process, and review later.
The decisions that actually deserved deep thinking probably weren’t getting the attention they needed, because I was exhausted from overthinking whether I should do my neighbour a favour!
When Learning Becomes Overwhelming
Here’s what no one tells you about trying to improve at something: applying what you learn often reveals how much you don’t know.
I thought learning decision-making frameworks would make decisions easier. Instead, it initially made them harder.
I was like someone who just learned about nutrition and suddenly can’t order at a restaurant without calculating macros.
The problem wasn’t the frameworks themselves. The problem was that I didn’t yet know how to integrate them into my life without it becoming another source of stress.
The Cycle That Changed Everything
I recently came across a framework from Opus Labs that directionally captures what happened next: Learn, Reflect, Apply, Prepare.
Here’s how it played out for me:
Learn: I discovered that applying the decision-making process equally to all decisions was too taxing. Some decisions deserve deep analysis. Others just need action.
Reflect: What did I actually want from better decision-making? I wanted to reduce anxiety and regret, not create a new source of both! I needed to balance thoroughness with efficiency.
Apply: I started researching different approaches. That’s when I discovered the impact/reversibility matrix – a simple way to categorize decisions.
High impact + hard to reverse = think deeply.
Low impact or easily reversible = just decide and learn as you go.
Prepare: I worked out how this could fit seamlessly into my process. Now I quickly assess: “What’s the impact? What’s the reversibility?” This simple categorization reduced my sense of overwhelm dramatically.
What Application Actually Teaches You
The car space situation? Turned out it was probably worth thinking through, given the proximity issue with neighbours. But I didn’t need three days to decide. The impact/reversibility matrix would have told me: medium impact, somewhat reversible. It deserves maybe 10 minutes of stream of consciousness journalling. It doesn’t require mulling over for days.
What I learned from that whole messy period: You can’t know what you need to learn until you try to apply what you already know.
Reading about decision-making gave me knowledge. Trying to use it on every decision in my life revealed the gap – I needed a triage system, not just better frameworks.
Here’s how it works:
- Taking in data about yourself through application
- Reflecting on what that means
- Applying those insights
- Preparing to collect better data next time
Each cycle through, I learned what actually works for me. Not just what works in theory, but what I can actually sustain in my real, messy life.
Your Own Line of Inquiry
If you’re trying to improve at anything – decision-making, fitness, relationships, creativity – you’ll likely hit this same pattern. Learning something new will temporarily make you worse before you get better. You’ll over-complicate things. You’ll see problems you never noticed before.
But that’s a feature, not a bug. This is the learning process revealing the gaps and your next steps on the journey.
So here’s what I’d encourage: Start your own line of inquiry.
Pick something you’re trying to improve. Apply it. Notice what gets hard or overwhelming. That difficulty is data. Reflect on it. What gap is it revealing? Then go learn about that specific gap, apply the new insight, and prepare to notice what emerges next.
The idea is to stay curious about how you actually work, as opposed to how you think you should work.
And sometimes, that means learning that not every decision needs a framework. Sometimes you it’s OK to let your neighbour use your carspace indefinitely and then be OK with saying “Excuse me, I need that back now!”