Sure, it’s not the mistakes you make but whether you learn from them.
OK.
So how does one learn from their mistakes?
Check out the powerful technique below!
However, don’t be fooled by the shorter length of this note.
This is, pound for pound, one of the best techniques I have used for turning experience into insight.
Here it is:
failing well
Whenever I reach a low and / or challenging point in my life, I am now in the habit of doing two things:
1. Set a reminder 1 month after the low point that prompts the question:
“What did I learn from the low point?”
2. Set a reminder for 3 months after the low point that prompts the question
“What are 3 good things to come the low point?”
in practice
In practice, the reminders look more specific (because sometimes, life just throws me a bunch of challenges all at once and I need to differentiate!).
So, the prompts might look like:
re: Fight with Midas over finances: what did you learn? (1 month reminder)
re: Icarus flying into the sun: what are 3 good things that have come from this? (3 month reminder)
why it works
When I am in the middle of an emotional storm, I’m pretty useless at seeing the big picture.
I am the hero of my story.
I’m fighting the spiteful villains that just want to watch the world burn.
These stories definitely juice me up with self-righteous charge, but they’re not great for finding profound insights.
And, even with all my habits around self-care and mindfulness, I have realised that the mental dust and emotional debris doesn’t really clear for at least a week or two.
allowing the dust to settle
As the dust settles, I start to see things more clearly.
I can better understand the good intentions behind the actions that I saw as spiteful.
And, it’s from this place that constructive questions can benefit me the most.
However, when in the centre of the storm, even if I had the presence of mind to ask myself “What do you think is the lesson here?”, I probably wouldn’t receive it well.
I’d probably dismiss it as new-age, spiritual riff-raff.
However, allowing the dust to settle allows me to widen my perspective.
With the benefit of this wider perspective, the insights become ripe for the picking.
The Failure Journal
This technique, known as “The Failure Journal” helps me to defer judgment until I can get that wider perspective.
Once again, here are the steps:
Whenever you reach a low and / or challenging point in your life:
1. Set a reminder 1 month after the low point that prompts the question:
“What did I learn from the low point?”
2. Set a reminder for 3 months after the low point that prompts the question
“What are 3 good things to come the low point?”
If you try it out, please let me know what you think.
Thanks to Arthur Brooks’ interview via The Tim Ferris show for this game-changer!
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