original interview
I really enjoyed this interview on Tangentially Speaking with Chris Ryan (it’s episode 617, but the page doesn’t seem to be updated yet).
my commentary
Here is a commentary of some of the parts that resonated for me:
my person?
The idea of “My Person” and whether it’s compatible with Polyamory
polyamory as a stabiliser?
How Polyamory can be a strengthening and stabilising force in a romantic relationship
prefer to read? Check this out
Commentary on the Concept of “My Person” and Polyamory
The notion of “My Person” has evolved significantly in the context of modern relationships, particularly as societal norms around love and partnership have shifted. Traditionally, “My Person” referred to the one individual with whom one shares an unbreakable bond, often romantic in nature. However, as polyamory gains recognition and acceptance, it challenges the conventional understanding of this concept. This commentary explores the compatibility of the idea of “My Person” with polyamory, examining how polyamorous relationships can serve as a stabilizing force, ultimately enriching our understanding of love, commitment, and personal fulfillment.
The Idea of “My Person”
When we talk about “My Person,” we often conjure an image of a soulmate—a partner who completes us, understands us intuitively, and is our go-to for emotional support. This idea is steeped in cultural narratives that emphasize exclusivity and singular devotion. However, as our perspectives on relationships expand, it becomes increasingly clear that this definition is not universally applicable.
In a polyamorous framework, the concept of “My Person” can transform from a singular figure into a more fluid notion. It invites us to reconsider the traditional narrative that limits our capacity for connection and fulfillment. Instead of viewing “My Person” as a sole partner who meets all our needs, we can understand it as a constellation of individuals who contribute uniquely to our lives. Each partner can fulfill different roles—intellectual, emotional, adventurous—allowing us to create a richer tapestry of relationships.
This shift in perspective aligns with the idea that love is not a finite resource but an expansive one. By embracing polyamory, we can cultivate meaningful connections that deepen our sense of belonging and support our emotional well-being. This approach acknowledges that it is entirely possible to have multiple people we consider “My Person,” each enhancing our lives in different ways.
Compatibility with Polyamory
As society moves toward more inclusive definitions of relationships, the compatibility of “My Person” with polyamory becomes increasingly evident. The monogamous framework often encourages the belief that one partner must fulfill all our emotional and relational needs. This pressure can lead to dissatisfaction, miscommunication, and even resentment when partners inevitably fall short of our expectations.
In contrast, polyamory allows for a more nuanced understanding of our needs and desires. We can communicate openly about what we seek from each relationship, ensuring that we are not placing undue pressure on any single individual. In this way, the concept of “My Person” can coexist harmoniously within a polyamorous structure, encouraging us to celebrate the diverse ways in which love can manifest.
For example, consider the case of someone who is deeply passionate about writing and programming—like myself—while also valuing emotional connection and support. A partner who shares my professional interests can provide intellectual stimulation and collaboration, while another partner who enjoys mindfulness and self-care can help nurture my emotional well-being. By acknowledging these different dimensions of my identity, I can appreciate each partner for their unique contributions without expecting them to fulfill every role.
Moreover, this understanding fosters healthier communication patterns. By recognizing that I can have multiple “Persons” in my life, I can be transparent about my needs with each partner. This approach encourages vulnerability and honesty, creating a foundation for deeper connections. Each partner can bring their strengths, interests, and support to the table, enriching our collective experience.
Polyamory as a Stabilizing Force
One of the most profound aspects of polyamory is its potential to act as a stabilizing force within relationships. In a society where emotional distress and relationship breakdowns are commonplace, polyamory offers an alternative approach that can lead to increased resilience and support.
Emotional Stability through Diverse Support Systems
In polyamorous relationships, individuals can cultivate a wider network of emotional support. Each partner can provide unique insights and perspectives, creating a more balanced emotional ecosystem. For example, if one partner is going through a challenging time, others can step in to offer support, guidance, or simply a listening ear. This distribution of emotional labor can alleviate the pressure on any single partner to be the sole provider of comfort and understanding.
Furthermore, this support system becomes particularly relevant in the face of life’s challenges. When one partner experiences stress at work or personal setbacks, having multiple partners means that the emotional burden does not rest solely on one individual. This can help mitigate feelings of overwhelm and isolation, fostering a sense of belonging and interconnectedness.
The approach aligns with a broader understanding of well-being, where individuals are encouraged to build supportive networks that extend beyond romantic relationships. Polyamory allows us to embrace the idea that multiple relationships can contribute to our overall happiness, reinforcing the notion that love and support can come from various sources.
Encouraging Personal Growth
Polyamorous relationships often create environments that promote personal growth and self-discovery. In a monogamous setup, individuals may feel pressured to conform to a singular identity, potentially stifling their authentic selves. However, in a polyamorous context, partners can encourage each other’s individual pursuits and aspirations without the fear of compromising the relationship.
For instance, if I were pursuing my passion for writing while navigating my coaching practice, my partners could support me in that journey without feeling threatened. One partner might encourage me to embrace my writing endeavors, while another might help me explore new coaching techniques. This fosters an atmosphere where personal growth is not only welcomed but celebrated, ultimately enriching the relationship.
Moreover, this dynamic encourages open communication about desires, boundaries, and needs. Partners can engage in conversations about their individual journeys, leading to deeper understanding and empathy. As we share our aspirations and challenges, we create an environment where vulnerability becomes a strength, allowing us to grow both individually and collectively.
Embracing Change and Uncertainty
Change is an inevitable part of life, and polyamory provides a framework for embracing that uncertainty. In monogamous relationships, the fear of losing a partner can lead to resistance to change, hindering personal and relational growth. Conversely, in polyamorous arrangements, individuals can navigate change with greater flexibility and openness.
For example, if one partner decides to relocate for career opportunities, this change can be met with support rather than resistance. The remaining partners can step in to provide emotional reassurance and stability during the transition. This adaptability fosters resilience and reinforces the idea that love can endure despite external circumstances.
In this context, the concept of “My Person” evolves to embrace the fluidity of relationships. Rather than clinging to a singular attachment, individuals can appreciate the unique qualities of each partner, knowing that their connections are not confined by rigid expectations. This flexibility allows for richer experiences and deeper connections, ultimately contributing to emotional stability.
The Journey of Self-Discovery
Ultimately, the intersection of “My Person” and polyamory encourages a journey of self-discovery and authenticity. As individuals navigate the complexities of multiple relationships, they are prompted to reflect on their own values, desires, and boundaries. This introspection fosters a greater understanding of oneself, leading to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.
In my own journey as a writer and coach, I have encountered the transformative power of self-reflection. Engaging with multiple partners has allowed me to explore different facets of my identity, whether it be my passion for programming, my commitment to social impact, or my desire to help others achieve mental and emotional richness. This exploration enhances my relationships and empowers me to pursue my goals with clarity and intention.
As I seek to empower others through coaching and writing, the lessons learned from polyamory shape my approach. I recognize that each individual’s journey is unique and multifaceted. By encouraging clients to embrace their complexities, I help them navigate their relationships and challenges with greater confidence.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the concept of “My Person” can coexist harmoniously within a polyamorous framework, encouraging us to celebrate the diverse ways in which love can manifest. By embracing multiple relationships, we create a supportive environment that fosters emotional stability, personal growth, and adaptability. This approach empowers us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and authenticity, ultimately enriching our understanding of love and connection.
As we continue to explore the complexities of modern relationships, we can draw inspiration from the transformative power of polyamory. By challenging conventional narratives and embracing diverse connections, we open ourselves to a richer tapestry of love, support, and fulfillment. Through this lens, we can redefine what it means to have “My Person,” creating a future where love knows no bounds and relationships are celebrated in all their beautiful forms.