Regular reflection can provide insights that will resonate more than any best-selling book we can buy.
That’s because, unlike most books we’ll read, reflection provides insights that are grounded in our idiosyncratic experiences.
The down-side is that their idiosyncratic nature limits their applicability to the people.
The up-side is that their idiosyncratic nature provides a perfect fit for some recurring problems we may face.
Read on for an example from my own review and reflection practice.
The Gift of Autumn
Even though it’s the middle of Winter in Sydney as I write this, I want to tell you about a powerful gift Autumn gave me.
At the beginning of every season, I take some time to review the past 3 months and plan the next 3.
Here’s what I found when I reviewed Autumn 2024.
My Anger Management Issues
I get easily annoyed.
Especially when it comes to other humans.
This might not come as a surprise to those who know me well.
And, while I think of myself as someone with a short-temper, I also like to think of myself as someone with high-agency:
If I find something that’s holding me back, I like to tinker with my environment to see if I can overcome that challenge.
So, if I am predisposed to rage when someone doesn’t stick to the left when walking up the footpath, what can I do about it?
How to Manage a Short Temper
While I can’t change the behaviour of my fellow pedestrians, I can change the way I relate to people I choose to have in my life.
The intention is to use annoyance and anger as a trigger for reflection and perhaps acceptance.
Specifically this is the intention I set at the beginning of Winter:
- When I feel annoyance, or even anger, I’ll reflect on where it’s coming from.
- If the origin is a crossed boundary, I’ll talk to the person about the crossed boundary.
- If no boundary has been crossed, and I’m not willing draw another boundary (I like to be a minimalist in this regard!), then it’s an opportunity for me to practice acceptance and adaptability.
- Often, my ability to accept and adapt depends on how well I’m looking after my fundamentals: sleep hygiene, exercise, meditation and journalling.
Using these uncomfortable emotions as a powerful signal for relationship maintenance and self-care is not something I would do naturally.
I have my quarterly review practice to thank for this great insight.
And then?
How is it working for me? I think that answer will be in the Winter review!
I think the key metric will be:
“How many birthday parties am I still getting invited to?”
But my lack of social capital aside, I hope this little glimpse into my practice gives you some ideas for your own.
If you want to know how I get started, you can see my weekly review practices.